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Meghan, writes about the miscarriage

There have been tremendous celebrity trolling for late pregnancies getting reported in the COVID19 times. And more recently I read the comments on the news of Meghan Markle opened up about her miscarriage. These are not one of the cases of celebrity trolling however this displays the cruel side of the society towards women. I sit down on the United Nations Day of Elimination of Violence against Women and penning down what I see around. However, I am choosing to not name anyone, because that is irrelevant, any women around me might be going through this passive aggression. And I have met multiple women with the same story.

If she had a miscarriage, it's her lifestyle!

Fine – Accepted, however, is our lifestyle the same as our grandmother’s in any way? Does a woman get to sit back at home and enjoy the care of an entire joint family as soon as she misses the first period? Do we have that luxury? Is it women? Or Society? Whose lifestyle we are blaming?

"In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing." Meghan writes. More power to you Duchess, we need to open up about our pain points and then only healing will start. "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few," she wrote.

If they are a childless couple, she must be on pills!

Might be the guy is on contraceptives, did you clarify?

Perhaps they both are yet not ready psychologically, physically, financially?

If she freezes her eggs, she must be too ambitious!

She is probably just using the best of modern technology. It’s her right to be ambitious too, might be she is yet to find the man she wants to have her children with. Not every man can be the man of a successful woman.

If she is craving for a baby, oh, she is so desperate and outdated!

She is having every right to crave for a baby. She might want to grow up with them once more. She is mentally ready and can support a baby financially too. With or without a child a woman is complete! But to choose is her right if she wants to explore medical assistance what is wrong?

If she didn't conceive yet, must be she is unable to reproduce!

Did she share her medical reports with you?

There can be dozens of reasons.

Perhaps they both are yet not ready psychologically, physically, financially?

Perhaps her partner is having some medical issue.

If she had an abortion, must be she is heartless!

Perhaps she cannot bear and rear currently. She is having a condition where she cannot give birth to a healthy child. 1,2,3, ………….n, uncountable reasons. I do not live in her shoes, how do I judge her? Keeping aside my thoughts on abortion.

I am happy to read that, later, Meghan said, she "lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband's hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we'd heal." There stays a vacuum forever, but glad to see that her man stands beside her.

Medically, socially, psychologically, physically nothing is as favourable as it used to be 25 years ago to conceive in marital cohabitation, with a man supporting financially, a family supporting and pampering. The struggles are becoming tough for both men and women. It is more relevant to discuss the situations around women in the context of bearing a child because it is her womb. Perhaps she is the sole breadwinner, without any support and she faces some consequences in the most personal realm of choosing to have a child or not.

It is fine if you don't know HER story, but don't judge her LIFE!

Opinions are seldom right!

On this day of the United Nations for International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women do we pledge to support her instead of judging her?

Violence is violence whether it is in form of passive or active aggression.

Contributor: Paromita Bannerjee - Paromita is a leader in People Practices with a knack towards solving problems. An IIM Bangalore alumna and a story visualizer, her focus is on bridging the gap between education and industry by supporting fresh graduates to kick-start their career and helping the women to return to the workforce after mandatory breaks.