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Miles can't stop smiles!

COVID19 is an unprecedented situation for this generation where every aspect of life is challenged and getting tested at the edge, including our relationships.

Relationships, on the other hand, had have been already seen a transformation for the generation in the discussion. Gone are the days when there was a defined age to tie-up, marry and stay together were the only options one could think of. Or the only way of meeting the better half was through the relatives or common friends or connections.

Relationships are calling for equality more than ever today. Studies and career deadlines pushed the age to look at personal requirements. Perhaps everyone around already got hitched and one started looking for relationships through dating apps or matrimonial websites, where people ended up swiping right for someone from geographically far as a prospect. Or got married and forced by the situation to embrace distance in-between because of the career path of both.

Hence, Long Distance Relationships (LDR) are becoming a norm than the exceptions. With the ease of flights travelling miles in a few hours was not a big deal till the time COVID19 hit us. How do we balance the long months of work from home with mental sanity and the separation?

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

Though there is no perfectly balanced formula for a happy relationship however the basics for the Long Distance Relationship is as below to stay hooked,

ACCEPT. Accept the indefinite nature of the situation and understand that you are not stuck like this alone, there are many such couples. Do not expect overnight miracles to improve the situation.

PLAN.

• If yet to tie the knot, plan it. Have the deadlines defined, let the families know.
• If you have already signed the papers and hanging away from each other due to professional commitments, plan how you could be together again and when?
• Have a plan to visit each other as soon as the lockdown ends.
• Plan for the next birthday, holiday, adventure, fantasies…
• This will give a significant positivity in your relationship equation.

COMMUNICATE. Keep each other informed about what are you up to, schedules, friends, families. No surprises, please. Share a lot, but more importantly listen out to the other person. Listening is an art and when you are miles apart it matters more. Talk practical, talk romantic, talk dirty, have the right balance. Check out the small things, they are romantic. However, do not overdo, that is, do not call up every hour or demand to speak 12 hours every day. Balance it out, understand the further commitments of the person on the other side.

TRUST. Trust and keep trust. There is nothing as romantic as loyalty. Define your level of trust with each other and convey clearly. Do not do things to upset each other, while away compromise for each other. Accept it that today the definition of trust is also changing and do not be suspicious unnecessarily.

INVOLVE. Let them mingle with your friends and family over calls. Keep them posted about the daily happenings. Express, let them express...Involvement creates security, and undoubtedly security takes a relationship long.

STAY POSITIVE. Keep boosting each other’s mood all the time, lockdown is also showing us professional challenges and as you are struggling every day perhaps the other person too is also on fire…UNDERSTAND.

BE TOGETHER. Have the morning tea together, watch the same movie, buy stuff online, read the same book, argue, fight, makeup. And do different things too. Based on your social media preferences use it together, involve them in your social media groups too. Buy gifts and surprises to each other. “Date” over video calls, arrange a nice setup for dinner, help each other to prepare an awesome meal, have that Blue-Lagoon or orange juice whichever is your favourite.

SELF CARE. Love yourself, take care of your own mental and physical health. Look within, indulge in good habits, learn new things. Your other half would be delighted to see you like a bright sunflower on the video call, treat him/her.

External situations will change and evolve, staying strong as a team against the tide will keep you together. Sometimes the geographical distance is much better than the mental distance, so immerse into each other while away, stay madly and badly in love.

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

Fun Gyana Tips to create a history for joy because we will not be stuck in this lockdown forever:

• You can go a few notches higher and plan to propose in lockdown.
• Say a wonderful thank you on social media letting your friends and family know.
• Introduce them to your friends and family over a Zoom call.

There are so many ways to be innovative with technology and be that outstanding couple in your circle.

Paromita is a leader in People Practices with a knack towards solving problems. An IIM Bangalore alumna and a story visualizer, her focus is on bridging the gap between education and industry by supporting fresh graduates to kickstart their career and helping the women to return to the workforce after mandatory breaks.

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author.

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