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Love conquers it all
I am a firm believer in destiny. In my series of talking to a few couples who claimed to have married only for love, I met a couple who re-established my belief in destiny. After meeting Kate and Hari, I met another interfaith couple where their individual choice of loving each other was once shattered by the mighty society. However beyond all is the destiny that played to get them together.
Anjali Mudra and Jerry. Anjali is a Yoga Teacher and Art Life Therapy Coach and Jerry is an artist, working in the advertising industry. They met in college. In about two years of being together, they realised that they were in love with each other and just went with the flow. But as is the fate of most couples with interfaith backgrounds they met with objections from the family since Anjali is a Hindu Marwadi and Jerry is a Christian by faith. Both of them were financially dependent on their parents and it was too early for them to go against the families. Anjali was married off in an alliance arranged by her parents, where she tried concentrating on getting into her new life. Jerry kept moving with his own life.
Down the line, it turned out to be a living hell for Anjali where she found her husband to be involved in an extramarital affair and marital rape was a regular scene for her. Fate took its turn and eventually when Anjali conceived her first child and was dropped back to her parents’ place. A child, followed by an ugly divorce. Anjali started picking up the pieces of her life by starting a career and got in regular touch with her old friends, one surely being Jerry. Jerry soon proposed to her and she denied because of her child. Life had stored more lessons for her and she lost her child in 2008, after a phase of depression where Jerry stood by her side always. Finally she was convinced to marry Jerry.
Though this time the parents were not the opposition, however, still the religion played a part as others started discussing conversion. The two held their ground strong and went for a marriage under the Special Marriage Act in the year 2013.
A perfect script for a Bollywood movie, that is lived by this lovely couple.
As a matter of values set in, like Kate and Hari they too respect each other's ways of worship, rituals and customs. There should not be any force in anything to be done by your partner. Especially for food, clothing, religious beliefs, family. As individuals too they are very different on choices, goals, styles, habits, absolutely nothing match but they are still together grateful for having each other. She says, I am just not the kind of girl he would have ever wanted nor he is the kind of guy I wanted.
They say, “We never ignore small differences, communicate and give enough space to the partner to convey what they want. We support each other when the world tries to question religious difference. We never criticise each other's family. We don't expect each other to give up the individuality.”
Food and language seem to be a major challenge in their personal life. At times Anjali feels left out however Jerry handles it funnily saying that, he will not like to share his food with Anjali and she shouldn't understand everything he talks about.
They say, "Go with the flow, everything happens for good. We believe in one supreme power and self-care. Religion is man-made.”
As long as you share understanding and respect each other's differences, an interfaith marriage will be filled with only “love”. They say, people, have created unnecessary hype or preconceived notions about inter-caste or inter-religion marriages. Marriage is overall an amazing and exciting experience, and it is more exciting when you get to live a diverse and culturally rich life.
Are you ready to take the plunges to make your marriage a success? You can only have a desirable outcome when the efforts are genuine. In this month of love discover the USP of your relationship to cherish, and if there are any differences work upon them to minimize or eliminate, be the hero in your own love story! Love wins despite any differences. What is your love story?
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Author: Paromita Bannerjee - Paromita is a leader in People Practices with a knack for solving problems. An IIM Bangalore alumna and a story visualizer, her focus is on bridging the gap between education and industry by supporting fresh graduates to kick-start their career and helping the women to return to the workforce after mandatory breaks.
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