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PanDating: Dream or Date to find the one for you!

Dating is still a taboo in India and often a misunderstood term. This article comes for the rescue and clears the air around it. What is Dating?

Dating is the phase between meeting a person and getting into a committed relationship.

As endorsed by Wikipedia –

Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. It is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others. These people will have dates on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations. 

The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country and over time. While the term has several meanings, the most frequent usage refers to two people exploring whether they are romantically or sexually compatible by participating in dates.

After writing about committed relationships for past two weeks and taking you through the challenges of staying committed and in love along with the solutions let us take a look at the scenario when choices are still getting explored. Where I keep on hearing from people around me that dating is also becoming a challenge during COVID19, I decided to sit down and write about dating and technology to help virtual dating.

The Donots’ of Dating are very simple and kind of similar to the do not's of COVID19,

1. Do not meet in a crowded place.
2. Maintain six feet distance.
3. Wear a mask.
4. Avoid contact.
5. Sanitise/Wash hands often.

To talk about the Dos’

1. DO DATE. Do not stop exploring and do not get into a monotony of ‘I am alone’.
2. COMMUNICATE. Voice calls, messages, video calls explore everything if meeting up seems impossible.
3. Meet in public places only, if you do not know the person very well.
4. Define the level of COMMITMENT. If it is still an OPEN RELATIONSHIP both involved should know.
5. Preferably evaluate only ONE at a time.

Kiara and Rohit (name changed on request) found each other on Bumble, after a good one year of dating & courtship, they decided to get married with blessings from both the families. They celebrated their second marriage anniversary during the lockdown.

Nitya and Vihaan (name changed on request) met two years ago on Tinder and waiting to get married soon after the lockdown is over. They are already engaged with the blessings of their parents. However, they reveal to very chosen people about how they met.

Some agree that times are sucking and they expect things will improve once this phase is over. Some couples are hopeful that they are in the right direction to get into a long-term and meaningful relationship and this distance worked as a boon. Delaying or slowing up the physical intimacy also means coming up to be more mature on emotional and intellectual intimacies. So why wait? There are such several success stories of the Dating Apps, though still a taboo but India is expanding its market for such dating apps.

With 33.9 million people using dating apps in 2019, apps like Tinder, Hinge, and OKCupid have become staples in modern culture.                -Gartner Insights, January 2020

Tinder Revenue and Usage Statistics (2020) - Business of Apps. According to 2020 Pew Research Center statistics, 30% of US adults have used a dating app – up from 11% in 2013 – with 23% going on a date and 12% finding a long-term relationship as a consequence.                                                                                                                                                                                                        www.businessofapps.com June 23, 2020

The smartphones are the best friends these days and they do play the match maker too, to help you I have researched on the few top apps for dating to make your life easy. Welcome to the world of digital dating.

1. TINDER. The most widely used in India and the world. The interface is simple and so easy to use. Option for girls is more compared to guys. You can personalise your choices. Reaching 99+ right swipes is a matter of the first few hours.
2. BUMBLE. This is an app for women by women. The USP is the deadline of 24 hours to accept a connection. Women are empowered and men can relax by letting her make the first move.
3. HINGE. Is focused on the tagline “Designed to be deleted” with its mascot Hingie. It calls itself more relationship-oriented compared to the others in the business by reminding users in different ways to keep the interaction on. Hinge downloads increased hugely after Pete Buttigieg, US Presidential candidate revealed in 2019 that he met his husband on the dating app.
4. OKCupid. It allows you to choose if you are looking for hookups, friendships, short-term or long-term dating, whether you are monogamous etc… Earlier it was a social networking website. They claim to be completely algorithm-based and ask many multiple-choice questions during signup to set up the algorithm right.
5. GRINDR: Grindr is the world's largest social networking app for gay, bi, trans, and queer people exclusively. (Source: Website)

There are matrimonial apps like JeevanSaathi, BharatMatrimony etc which can also serve your purpose if you are looking for a serious and long-term relationship.

Facebook Dating, is already launched in a few limited countries,  on the World’s No. 1 social networking platform and you can expect it soon in your geography on your favourite platform.

DON’T use LinkedIn as a dating app. Be sensible and careful if you approach anyone, especially a stranger on Facebook too for dating since both of these are not made exclusively for dating.

There are many more like these apps for you to explore that serves your best interest but due to several constraints, I had to limit it here. However, while using these apps you need to be extremely careful about your safety, nonetheless how much these apps are bragging towards their safety precautions.

1. Be sure when you share your details (phone number, income, workplace etc…)
2. Trust your sixth sense.
3. Confide in a friend.
4. Try to ghost them a bit on the other social media platforms.
5. No social media presence is an alert for sure 98% of the times.
6. Keep any harassment at bay.
7. Be aware of how to report Cyber Crime.

If it seems that it is taking a serious turn towards a more committed relationship then you may consider taking a few steps ahead to express your emotions and article http://gyanalogy.com/long-distance-relationship-coping-vidistance/ would be helpful.

Happy PanDating and wish that you find your happiness soon.

Paromita is a leader in People Practices with a knack towards solving problems. An IIM Bangalore alumna and a story visualizer, her focus is on bridging the gap between education and industry by supporting fresh graduates to kick-start their career and helping the women to return to the workforce after mandatory breaks. 

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